Omigosh why am I watching this slavery recollection thing on HBO with ppl like Don Cheadle, Angela Basset and Oprah voicing slave recollections( yeah I know its been out a while). It reminds me of the 1st time I really hated white ppl in general. It wasnt the individual it was the whole race. I don't usually hate anyone and intellectually I know what's right and I don't really hate whites now (they aren't their ancestors or are they***) It's just....

How could anyone be soooo cruel. (and don't say shit about Africans selling each other into slavery) So when I first hated white people I think it was because I watched the movie Panther. I actually cried. I thought I knew about slavery just because I was black, they were enslaved and not paid and treated badly, visited the sugar mills ecetera ecetera. But as a 9 yr old did I really get it? Hell no!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think what also did me in about Panther is not realizing that after slavery there were Jim Crow laws then into the whole Civil Rights movement. Naively I thought slavery is abolished, enslaved people were free. I don't like to call my ancestors slaves because no one is born a slave, no one is born with that mentality. It was bred into them, they were taught to be slaves - they were ENslaved. I don't think I would do very well as a slave. There is this book (will find out the name) where the author is basically transported back in time to slavery days and as a 21st century woman she tries to endure it to ensure that in the future her family line lives. I don't think she makes it....(I'll check the facts) But I KNOW I would not be able to make it I would be too insolent too headstrong. But then again I would be taught how to be a slave: how to be docile, keep your head down and work hard, how to be deceitful (because I wouldnt actually love and agree with massa), and most of all how to endure suffering. I think I would have tried to run away. I hope I would have had the courage.

When I hear slave recollections what I notice most is the violence and the psychology of fear that they used to keep people enslaved and I wonder "why don't white people beat their kids?" Yes I am making a sweeping generalization and ppl of both races beat blah blah blah. But seriously a disparate number of whites decide that beatings are not a method of punishment for their kids. Is it that they're afraid they're gonna be treating their kids like niggers/ slaves. Aren't they the ones that introduced Blacks to the Bible and the verse "spare the rod and spoil the child". They never followed that. Black people sometimes think hey a lil slap now and then is necessary to keep their kid in line. And is it what we believe, what we've been taught, or what has work via trail and error parenting?

niggers
All through the "documentary" thats what they referred to each other as...the massas called them that and thats how they referred to each other. Kinda like now. I don't say Nigger but I'm not gonna knock somebody, judge them or act as if they're setting Black people back 200 yrs by using it. It doesn't apply to me and rolls off my back.


I'm (was) a dancer and we did all types of dance but I know slave dances, how the costumes look. I called them costumes because I was playing a role but then I realized this was someone's real like this is their history this is what they wore then. Its like you are a historian. We integrated to games they (children) played into the routine as a segue between 2 different dance types. It was fun. I thought of it that these were dances that free slaves did - not anything they had to hide to do. Yeah I know I lie to myself ;)

*** Back to above I see myself as a product of my ancestors - of the past. What about white people? Given their legacy how do they reconcile that to themselves. Also given power over someone, (the psychology experiments with the jolt of electricity, or even the one where student were guards in a faux prison) every human has the potential to abuse it. How many thing that slavery day can come back? Someone may be rolling their eyes saying it never left, but I'm talking about explicit slavery.

Well I'm done. I don't hate white people my mother is white. LOL I'm joking but seriously though no problems mon! I just have a wandering mind.

Hmmm of course now I'm wondering if being an atheist is so bad I mean who was the one that told us about that white Jesus. And I do have recollections of going to confirmation classes and getting shut down about the "is Jesus black? " debate with my white, English, left ear pierced and ponytailed priest. Can you believe it? A hippy priest STILL arguing that Jesus could never be Black. He didn't even acknowledge the possiblity. Ok I'll stop here.

The person I'd most like to meet?
Yeah Mandela would be nice I would like to meet...............................................................................Me 12 years ago. And I am sooooo serious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!