Underground

I think my blog is about to go underground...both of them.

I put up a stat counter because I was curious how many people actually read what I wrote and the answer is not many at all.
It just seems to be stumbled upon when ppl click the next blog link...which is fine. That's fine for this one; I don't need feedback but on the other one....
It probably exists for the about 5 ppl that I gave the address to who don't need therefore to call or email me since they can just enter the link and see the latest predicament I've landed myself in...all except for one thing it is quite censored. There is nothing there that I don't want ppl to read. It's like someone being adamant about being photographed naked but having no problem walking around topless. It seems like a conundrum but makes sense to the person.

So basically I think it needs to disappear, I don't want to keep in contact. I don't want to have to cater to two masters: what they think and what I feel.

But then I get asked...what happened to the blog did you change the link?????
No I'll email it to you.....
Oh it changed to ......
Maybe I'll just do something I don't like to do and lie and say I deleted it...that I'm done with blogging cuz I was over it. It served a purpose and now I'm moving on.
I guess I'll have to practice it to sound convincing when that time rolls around.

I really wish I had gotten into a different university away from anyone I knew. I like isolation, I like knowing no one is checking on me.
I am thankful for scholarships but I regret that I didn't have enough $$ to go to my #1 pick that wanted me but was in truth a pipe dream....sigh I really wanted to live at Foggy Bottom. then I thought Spelman wouldn''t be bad...then I said heyyyyyyyyyy I would luv to do the Univ of Miami, and said HELL TO THE NAW to the all girls Mt. Holyoke.

Yeah sour grapes, I'm not boasting or conceited this just flashed in my mind as I thought about destiny...so many things could be different in my life if certain little things in my life had changed.

If Univ of the WI had sent the letter on time saying that they hadn't received my Univ transcript maybe I would be in med school at home this past yr instead of being in another country in grad school doing something I sorta like...
I was looking at an ad and they had a father opening his daughter's acceptance letter and I thought - don't they know they send a big enveloppe if you get accepted but then I corrected myself...you get a big envelope if you get accepted and actually have $$$ to go or they are offering you enough $$ to go. Other than that they say yay we want you but ummmm your wallet doesn't seem fat enough...you got 2 months to figure it out Peace. \/

It's weird that I could come to a foreign country, get a Bachelor's degree and not even be in debt when the exchange rate is 6:1 whereas if I stayed home and tried to go to school my mom would probably have had to take out a loan.
Maybe I've had it too easy over the years and my mettle is now being tested.
Well tomorrow is a new day and I will figure out a modus operandi cuz failure is not an option.
I really don't know how the topic changed so drasically from the initial.

Anyway, I'm glad I have this spot for myself...yeah I'm selfish I'm an only child that doesn't like to share.