The Tempest

My blog privacy was invaded by a snooping ex so I've created a new address filled with old and new junk. Enjoy, run screaming, or pull your hair out. Proceed!

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Monday, November 28, 2005

Sexual history?

Ok I never really had to address this past sexual history thing mainly because I didn't have one. Until recently I had only had sex with one person... and before that my sexual history wouldn't be considered sexual by most of the teens in the US.
So now that the situation has changed I never really thought about someone asking me "my number" or whatever. I see stuff like that being on a need to know basis and you only need to know that if "I" am contemplating having sex with you. Actually that's a lie I expect a guy to ask if he is trying to go that way with me but I expect a single question NOT a barrage of follow-up questions.
I am a fairly honest person and fairly polite so I'm stuck either way. I can't exactly bring myself to say "Piss off nunya rasshole business," but then again that's how I feel. So this is in reference to the person from A little ditty.
Ok so were lying there I just finished looking at Eddie Murphy's Raw about 3/4 of which was hilarious. I didn't particularly feel like looking at it but he insisted. I was thinking hmmm ok lets just talk then go to sleep but he wanted to watch the DVD and after that talk and its already 2:30 am. Ok fine I guess he likes marathon sessions. I'm not the one that has to get up at 8 am so I'm all for it. So cool conversation, bullshit, sense, nonsense, his heartbreak failed relationships etc, funny stories. Then to start talking about girls him trying with girls on campus etc..."So ammmm, so what's your number?" It was asked so hesitantly I was kinda like "huh? What u talking about".
Ok fine so I told him. Silence I was like ummm I'm not a sharing person so if you expect me to just volunteer details its not going to happen ask what you want to know. It may or may not get answered.
Another fucking question...any of those from home or just from College.
College
Him: "So ammmm how come it was like that"
Well I wasn't ready then or even remotely interested in sex then, I was about hanging out with friends and chillen.
Him: So it was a kinda u reach college so u wanted to lose it?
a pause....um no It was in my junior yr
Him: So it was with ur boyfriend?
Yeah
Him: So when u and your boyfriend ended it?
_______
Him: So the other(s) were after that?
Yeah
Him: Hmmm so in dat time... (trails off), ok u were busy then
Silence
Him: So they were flings or what
Me thinking "Well its more complicated than that but not to be discussed with you".... so I say yeah they were flings.
Him: So ummm it was a multiple times kinda thing?
Yes
Him: Oh...........Silence
So armmmm Who were these guys
No one you know
Him: But like who
Ok ___ and ____
Him: Hmmmm I ent know dem nah
I roll my eyes in the dark

I am a fool for bait I luv to give ppl rope and see how long it takes for them to hang themselves. I didn't really want to answer but I wanted to see how much "no - sense" he had. He just kept on going and going I was like is he going to ask me if ah eva fuck outside, or in a bathroom what makes me cumm etc? No tact whatsoever!
He totally showed his age (and his ass) there.....To me it would have been more effective and less invasive if he simply asked, "have you ever had and HIV test, and when was that?". Even if he added on, "how many sexual partners have you had," that would have been fine.
Also I'm wondering was this just his innate "fastness" (malicious curiousity) or is he asking this b/c he thinks in the future he will "hit it".
I have already told him I am an AGEIST (I discriminate by age). I am never interested in Guys younger than me and that conversation just cemented it. I am annoyed now that I answered his questions (since I have NEVER discussed my history in depth with someone that I haven't had sex with) but I guess you live and learn. But till now I haven't asked him one question about his sexual history not even when he lost his virginity which is a pretty standard question.
Why haven't I asked him because I don't care and it has no relevance cuz he is so not even going to get to touch, caress or even breathe on this puss. Basically, he thinks he has me figured out, it's like, "...ok she's older she is into the getting to know you stuff etc, " but if you haven't tried to kiss me by now you've basically been digging the friendship hole and right now its sooo deep, it's as deep as the well in the movie The Ring. Steups tryna put his resume out there like you know he tried talking to the younger girls and dey not ready, and he was always interested in older girls and somehow he slips in that he has a 4.0. Sigh he humble for the most part but on one occasion to trip yourself up multiple times so horribly probably indicates when I thought you were comfortable you were probably just keeping your head above the water in dealing with me.
You can really tell a guy that's raised solely by his mom he gives off an air of exclusivity like he's a "bess thing" (sl: best thing - the best out there that ur gonna find, basically he acting like his shit is tighter than mine.....girls don't like that) and he needs to be more selective and discriminating than any other guy (or even you the girl) when choosing a girl. Well he grilled me, and I probably met his standards but "nutten nah gwan atall!!!!" and I hope in his young life , in his musings, he may actually come figure out the occasion where the divide was made obvious and impassable.
The impression I came away with (from his persp.) was, "...where I put my dick is more important than whose dick is put in ur pussy. So I need to be extra careful and I wouldn't volunteer info after cross- examining you because it should be a given that I'm not a ho and have been careful all my life." Punto finale.
Steups also I've noticed God gives me a lil nudge. I am by no means a miser but when a guy fucks with my money that's a good sign as any to bail ship. Due to incidences that happened earlier this year, I can see the warning signs plain as day. We went out on Sat, the car got towed and being the nice female I am when he dropped me home I gave him near to half the towing costs. He was thankful and appreciative, but on the ride home had previously made the comment, "like you bad lucky." I blame myself for enough shit in my life I don't need someone heaping stuff on me even if he was joking - it was a pathetic attempt.
The incident he was referring to was when a group of friends went to UMD about 5 of us in the car and I almost didn't even go. It was about 3 cars following each other, all the drivers were guys and the leader was showboating IMO and the others following. However, stop signs were ignored and only given a perfunctory tap on the brakes while going about 60mph on a narrow backroad. So we get there in one piece and enjoy about 45 mins of the party before it ends...its in a campus building. So everyone heads to the cars to leave to go to another off-campus party the same follow-the-leader is in effect. I have lived in MD these ppl are very particular about their road safety plus its a white campus at Halloween of course they are monitoring shit. I'm not tryna be anyone's momma so I mention ONLY once that those red signs at the junctions with the letters S * T * O * P means that you come to a complete stop look both ways then proceed. I'm brushed off and we are stopped 2 mins after on the UMD campus and he gets a ticket. There was some other stuff that we were stopped for that wasn't his fault but basically the vehicle was impounded b/c of that other stuff. Luckily we came in a lot of cars or else we would have been S.O.L.....That is basically what happened verbatim, besides my presence on both occasions nothing was my fault to constitute that badlucky comment......Fukkkin annoying.
So, I'm noticing a trend and I luv to break cycles so I'll do just that.
So no sleepovers, no hugs nothing that will distinguish him from other guys that I know.

Also, I ain't rich either but I don't like to talk about money. I went shopping on Black Friday bought some stuff I didn't really need, but it was on sale. He asks what I bought...fine, then he asks how much I ended up spending. What de cuddas munt!!!!!! (yes I know it backwards I trying to lessen de cussin'). He showing the typical Trini mentality. That's harsh. Whatever mentality it can be classified as I find it annoying and that's why I could never have a Trini boyfriend. Steups.

PS I am soooooooooo glad that we never kissed. I probably would have had to flog myself as punishment. Ok thanks for letting me vent. Sometimes I might be harsh letting one thing dictate how things go but intuition is intuition!

6 Comments:

Blogger VerseOne said...

Truth be told Queen, we do that so we can get a decent ratio. Ya' know partners/time. i like to plot mine on a graph (just jokin), different levels for different relationships (wifey-type, booty call, etc.). Peace.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Taj said...

Yea I understand that its just that they got progressively more invasive and I (strongly) really don't think we are gonna get to that stage... so I just put my biz out there for what. I was probably more mad at myself.
I know you are married now but what was your protocol with this issue?

11:40 PM  
Blogger Jhaldir said...

So you sure that the reason he was asking those questions was to figure out whether you met his standards and are safe enough to sleep with? Cause I would tell you that most guys ask questions like that more to figure out how far a girl is willing to go and what she is capable of doing... of course I could be wrong seeing as how I really doh know dis guy.

4:17 AM  
Blogger Taj said...

Well F I think if he was testing his limits he would have tried to do more than touch a boob sept-dec. Sleepovers were strictly platonic cuddling w/o morning or nightime wood. I think he's afraid of me ;)

6:52 PM  
Blogger VerseOne said...

I was really young acting at the time i inquired. expecially with girlfriends, cause no matter what the number, your not gonna like it.
it's the question all guys want to ask, but never want answered.
all that to say, you'll probably be asked this question by every guy interested in a sexual relationship.
just claim virgin status or say one. and get used to it. Peace.

11:03 PM  
Blogger Taj said...

Hmmm... aight just one then. But don't guys usually bitch and moan about girls lying to them? But seriously tho' thanks for the advice I'll try it next time.

7:31 PM  

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